”We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.”
Humans, as we know them, change almost every other minute, adapting to the changes in their aura. In the course of our lifetime we undergo so many natural metamorphosis processes, that it is harder for even us to keep track of them, leave aside the people around us who in some way or another get affected by them. The question that we need to sit and ponder is: To what extent is this change really desired or required?
If I sit and observe my own life, I have constantly been adapting to my changing environments. One friend said to me some years ago that she never would understand why I didn’t loose myself on the way. But what exactly is “myself”? I think I am what I am from all of my inspirations and different incidents I’ve been through in life. I think we all are. And I’ve been moving around a lot and it’s been great, but it has resulted in a quite oddish feeling that I don’t have a place that I can call “home”.
When I was little I had that; most of you all know that feeling you got in your stomach when you’d been far away, maybe visiting some relatives or made a long-distance flight to some place warm, and your mom and dad steered the car into your neighborhood and you saw your house. It was a warm, friendly feeling that you felt. You felt secure and confident that everything would be OK. The feeling of being away for awhile and come back home to your own house, your own gadgets making a mess on the floor and your own bed with that same accustomed smell.
I have never experienced that since, I would so like to have it again, because I lost something on the way that was really important and dear to me.
Even though I won the world I lost the sense of belonging .. to, I don’t know ..
I guess the fact that I don’t know tells quite a lot about everything that I wanted to convey here ..
It is not that I’m sad or anything, it is just quite odd. I’ve always been into traveling and I am quite sure of that I don’t want to live in Sweden at least, but I would like to get that same feeling again. Not maybe now at this very moment, but .. at some point in life again would be nice. Otherwise I think life will be pretty dull ..